REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- Mediocre Heroes in a Half-Shell

So the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is out now.  This is my review.  It's really hard to adequately describe how this film made me feel by the end, so I will leave the task summing up how this movie made me feel to the ever eloquent Morgan Freeman:

The Wrap Up

The Good:

+ The Turtles did have a few funny lines that are, at the very least, chuckle-worthy.

+  It is not as bad as many fans of the series thought it would be...

The Bad:

-...but it's kind of sad when not being a travesty is one your film's highlights

-Forgettable in every way conceivable.  Easily the most dull summer blockbuster of the year

The Verdict:

This review is so short because like Mr. Freeman said, I just don't give a s@!#.  That may seem unprofessional, but honestly this is the most effective way I can convey how utterly mundane this film is. It is neither horrendous nor good.  It's a sad fact that with today's technology, we should be able to produce a live-action version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  that lives up to the old cartoon and comics, but lazy screenwriting and acting  keeps this movie from doing so.  Seriously, even Megan Fox managed to be more lazy than usual, a feat which I thought was impossible.  I give Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meh out of 10 (5 out of 10).

What did you think of the Turtles' latest adventure?  Did you like this review?  Be sure to check out my other reviews on the site for a 90s Kid's perspective on modern movies.  

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