I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Toys "R" Kid!

Nothing exudes nostalgia quite like Toys "R" Us.  I'm an adult now, but every time I walk into my local store I am instantly hit with a wave of memories.  The individual toys themselves have changed, but there are still Star Wars actions figures, Lego sets and of course, Pokemon cards.  It's amazing to me that many of the brands of toys I loved as a kid are still going strong.

Now many of you who grew up in the 80s and 90s will remember commercials that featured an incredibly catchy tune like the one below:


Ah.  It brings a tear to my eye every time I watch.  There was a time when you would have been hard-pressed to find a child in America who was not at least familiar with the incredibly catchy jingle.  The tune was so good,

Forbes listed it as one of the top ten jingles ever.  Surely this song will be a classic forever.

Or not.

80% of children in the United States no longer know the legendary jingle.  Parents, what are you doing?  How in the world have we let the world get to a place where only 80% of children know this song?  Clearly our school systems are also failing to to teach such vital and valuable knowledge.  Stand up and take responsibility children of the 80s and 90s.  Teach your children.  And don't stop there, we need you as teachers to ensure America's youth are exposed to wholesomely uplifting art.  There are some who would say, "It's just a stupid old commercial, what's the big deal?"  To that I would show them this:

What an inspiring jingle!  It inspires the world to be a bit more friendly.  It reminds us that, no matter how different we may look, the caffeine and sugar a Coke contains can hook us all into a spiraling descent of addiction.  Beautiful.  And the Toyd "R" Us commercial?  It reminds us that the world was once innocent before the kids wanted to fight their Beyblades and shoot each other in those damn loud and violent Call of Duty and Halo games.

 Still not convinced on becoming a teacher?  Here's some Bill Cosby:


Now how many of you parents have children who have never been exposed to the "The More You Know" campaign?  For shame.  This is why America is falling behind.  Well, that and a government filled with petulant children who can't compromise or agree on a dang thing.  Wow.  How did I manage to start a Fun Fact about Toys "R" Us and end it talking about the gridlock in Washington?