The Sordid History of the Wonder Ball

The Nestle Wonder Ball was the closest thing to Kinder Surprise the USA ever had.  First released in the late 90s, the chocolate, hallow balls each contained a small toy.  due to multiple complaints, and flat-out smear campaigns spear-head by competitors Nestle was forced to discontinue the product.  By 2001 however, the wondrous confections reappeared on store shelves, now filled with small candies.

In 2004 Frankford Candy, whose main products correlate with certain holidays like Easter acquired the brand from Nestle and then promptly discontinued the product that had cut into their sales for so long, thus becoming the largest troll in the candy business.

Bunny-making bastards!


There have been rumors that the company is planning to bring the product back for holidays.  Of course most of those rumors state that the product is to be brought back during the holidays of 2013, which as you may remember, were completely Wonder Ball free, thus marking the first time in my life where I questioned if I can really trust everything the internet says.

Next you're going to tell me Hitler didn't actually have a secret alliance with Extra-Terrestials.


I do believe in miracles though.  I need everybody reading this to believe with me.  Maybe you have lost faith in our government.  Perhaps you can no longer believe in a God who would let such awful things happen in the world.  Heck, you may have lost faith in all of humanity, but I need all of you to believe that we can bring back the Wonder Ball.  I plead with you to follow this link and express to Frankford Candy your desire to enjoy the Wonder Ball once more.

Don't click, and you'll forget about it, at least a while.  And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell Frankford that they may take our balls, but they'll never take our craving!

I'm almost positive that's what William Wallace would say, were he still alive.  Do it for him.